Me Oh, My Oh, on the Boombastic Plastics........

Plastic surgery is the new ecstasy, or at least to a number of privileged women. Botox, cheek implants, breast implants, rhinoplasty, chin augmentation, liposuction, name it, there is nothing your local plastic surgeon cannot do. I have nothing against plastic surgery. Heck, I'd probably go under the knife once I win the lottery or once I start choking wadloads of moolah mwhahaha.

Seriously though, I do like the idea if only for tha fact that it does help a lot of people, i.e. breast reconstruction for women who have had mastectomy, surgery for burn victims, cleft lip of cleft palate surgery, surgery for facial bone features as in traumatic injuries, to name a few. BUT, there are those who DO NOT need it in the first place but still go on. There are those who do not know when to stop. They already look as if they're ready for their place in the WAX MUSEUM mwahaha.

There are also those who deny they've ever had it even when mukha na silang bisugo sa kakapaopera. Take this actrees/ singer for example. In the 80's she used to have a small nose, in Tagalog pango. Then she dissapears from her show with then husband. She comes back a few weeks later with a much defined nose then she denies having anything done. End of story? NOT! In the early 2000s when she is already in her 30's, her breasts obviously get bigger, way bigger, say 2 cup sizes bigger. Still she denies having them done. Now, she has thick trout lips to match her ever blossoming bosoms. Still she insists she's a natural beauty. Who the heck is she trying to fool??? Herself siguro mwahaha. Unless you're a developing teenager, or undergoing HRT, your breasts will not grow any bigger au naturel after a cartain age. The breasts, jugs, boobs, mammary glands, bosoms, bumpers, suso, joga, dede, whatever you wish to call them are made up mostly of fat, so unless you are getting a bit flabby or you need HRT dahil nag me menopause ka na, hindi na lalaki pa ang kambal mo lalo habang tumatanda ka. I just don't buy it...............

Even when (notice when and not IF) I win the lottery, I'd refuse to go under the knife. Oh well, maybe a little nip/tuck when my ass stretches to gargantuan proportions, or maybe a tummy tuck when my fabulous 23 inch waist exceeds my 25 inch limit bwahahaha. Or maybe a face lift to erase the wrinkles forming on my forehead. Maybe a little restylane under my eyes. Better yet, ask me again in 10, maybe 5 years, when my breasts would probably start sagging and I'd start looking like a prune from having all those wrinkles mwahaha.................mali pala, huhuhu................


Hay naku Ibyang, ayan ka na naman.............

Batu bato sa langit, ang tamaan ay Luz Valdez mwahaha................

Me Oh, My Oh, on vertically challenged hunks (daw)..........

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I do not watch local television. No, I'm not trying to be unpatriotic at lalong hindi ako nagpapa sosi, it's just that I do not find it entertaining. Never have, never will, NEVAH! I've tried, many times over, but no matter how hard I try, if only for our Inang Bayan, talagang hindi ako na eentertain, hindi talaga! So stop asking me why kainis.

While channel surfing 2 days ago, I was reminded why I hated it in the first place. I see this former child star dancing on tv. As if that's not enough aba nag break dancing pa. He's doing it to promote his very own dance album. By the way, he's considered an up ang coming hunk. By whom, I have no idea, they probably have severe sight (or preference/taste) problems. According to Mr. Webster a hunk is a muscular, well-built man. How can you be called a hunk if you're a grown man and you measure less than 5'5"??? No matter how gwapo you are, I don't think so. Take me for example, at 5'1" I consider myself petite, in Tagalog, pandak, bansot. BUT, BUT, BUT, enter a woman's beauty arsenal - the high heel. Being petite, I own a lot of high-heeled shoes, the highest being more than 5 inches. So if I wear my heels around short guys mukha na akong matangkad baka mag abot pa ang height namin mwahaha. But the same standard does not apply to guys as the highest elevated/elevator shoes I know are about 2 inches only, well at least the natural looking ones. Stick to acting hijo. Please stop bombarding us with your so-called dancing hunks, they look more like swaying hobbits. Sama mo si Frodo Baggins at Samwise Gamgee para masaya mwahahaha.


Speaking of vertically challenged hunks(??!), what do women see in this noontime host??? He's not handsome, he's not even cute, ke liit liit pa niya. I saw him with his gang of alalays/friends/whoever thay are, in person sometime ago at Rustan's with my Nanay Cora, who wanted to run towards him and hug him. I was with my other siblings as well and we went running straight to the nearest escalator. Kidding aside, he's looks really nice and sweet, but pogi, no friggin' way. He has stringed so many women, most of whom are really, really gorgeous, and tall may I add. What is it that you see in him that we don't??? I'm sure it's not money either since he has also hooked up with moneyed women and besides I don't think he's that rich. Baka magaling??? Mag host, you dirty, dirty minds mwahaha.

Hay naku, all this blogging is bringing out the inner

in me. I have relinquished my throne (well, at least wearing this shirt) more than 2 years ago since I started believing in the law of attraction. All this blogging is unleashing her again. Or maybe it's just the hormones. For some reason, my pills don't seem to be doing the trick. I've been moody lately and I swear I have no libido. But heck no, I'm not being apologetic, I meant every word I said. If any of the people mentioned above get to read my post, don't you dare throw rocks at me, baka tamaan kayo ng heels ko mwahaha.

Me Oh, My Oh, on Current Events.............

There are times when forgetting can be just as important as remembering. But to rewrite history is another story. I'm not hallucinating, Martial Law did happen! I may not have been born at the time, but one thing I'm sure of is that it happened. I may not have winessed it first hand, but I still remember seeing on reruns in black and white of the late ex-President Ferdinand Marcos saying 'I now declare Martial Law'. It's like saying the Holocaust never happened, or even World War I or World War II. Stop asking for history books to be rewritten bwiset.

Time may heal all wounds. But it cannot erase the scars left behind. The scars will probably remain to serve as reminders. Just ask all those people who were tortured, jailed, and whose human rights were violated between 1972 to 1981. Not to mention the ones who were brutally murdered, ewan ko kung paano niyo sila tatanungin. Ano ba naman kayo, para kayong hindi kapwa Filipino.

There is a world of difference between good sound reasons and reasons that sound good. Huwag niyo baluktutuin ang katwiran. I know you're all smart, kaya nga nandiyan kayo. But stop making fools of us all. We're not as stupid as you think we are.

This is why I avoid watching the news. Apparently an impossible task since Joel loves keeping abreast of current events. Ako ang na hi high blood. kainis

Me Oh, My Oh

If you are a guy, and for some reason someone happens to call you a DORK, shouldn't you feel complimented??? After all, a dork is "a whale's penis". Then you must be one big, I mean lucky man. wink wink

Botox ba kamo??? Botulinum toxin. It can cause muscle paralysis, drooping eyelids, allergic reactions, inability to close the eyes, botulinum poisoning (it is a neurotoxin produced by bacteria after all), paralysis of the wrong muscle group, to name a few. I even once heard that it is the same type of bacteria found in a rat's testicles. Why the hell would you want the same bacteria from a rat's testicle injected into your face???

Will you stop calling it LIQUID PAPER! Liquid nga siya pero hindi siya paper. It's correction fluid, shungak.

Flavored water??? I like water simply because it tastes like, well, WATER. Zero calories, zero carbs, zero flavor. If I wanted my water flavored, then don't you think I'd rather get juice instead???



What do you think???