Divaness: More Wakeboarding Shots

Just received these pics of moi as taken by Erwin de G last weekend. Thanks Erwin and Marlene........
O da va, feeling divaness................

O humabol pa, poginess, macho-fafaness!!!!

chuvaness............

Bongganess: Happy Halloween

Like I said, I love halloween. I'm just not in such a jolly mood since all my siblings and cousins are in Boracay right now. In short, no halloween party to go to. I chose to stay behind so I can 'play' again this weekend. To think I was looking forward to dressing up as a fairy princess this year. Oh well............

Anyhoo, in the spirit of halloween here are some of my favorite shots. I took a lot of halloween pics this year (close to 100, I think) and I seriously can't decide which ones to post for my 'bongganess'. 'Eeenie meenie minie mo' did the trick............

5
Ain't he just creepy???
4
What better way to celebrate than to drink to your heart's content........ 3
Corpse bride and groom???2
Wait a sec............ Aren't they the same couple as in bongganess # 3???

1

Hands down, bongganess..............

What the....???? Is that a hag in black???Happy Halloween!!!

Battle Scars

Believe it or not, I happen to love ALL my scars - each and every single one of them. Even with the latest advancements in cosmetic surgery (and a fitting budget), mark my words, I would never have them removed.

Ask anyone who knows me, I call them "battle scars" or "medals". If scars could talk, each one would have it's own unique tale to tell.

The oldest one being the one on my left knee, I got it when I was about 10. I fell off my bike and rammed my knee into a piece of driftwood. That was the last time I ever rode anything with 2 wheels.

There's a huge one behind my left thigh that looks more like a huge burn. Slipping off while ripping a slider (see that yellow slider on the background), the metal pipe managed to scrape quite a few layers of skin. If it weren't for my knee brace [which I have to wear whenever I play because I tore my MCL (Medial Collateral Ligament) falling with my left leg first from the top of a 6-ft A-frame, the huge white thingy on the background, but that's another story], the entire leg would've probably been grated. To top it off, immediately after the scrape, I fell on my ass and slid down the fiberglass siding, thus sharp fibers managed to find their way into my already burning scrape. I was all alone so I drove myself to the nearest clinic which was about 100 kilometers away. After which, I laid face down on the E.R. bed for more than an hour as the doctor tried to pluck every shard. Since the fibers were translucent, removing every single piece was an impossible task. He then proceeded by pouring antiseptic onto my open wound. I'm sure you get the picture, and it ain't pretty.

I have one right above my right eye. Again while wakeboarding, I was on my way to the dock when a newbie went straight at me. Had I not managed to hide under my board in time, she would have decapitated me (she was probably traumatized by my forked tongue as I never saw her again, ever........).

There's another one near it. Right above my eyebrow. I was ripping a slider (the same one that managed to scrape my thigh), I fell off the wrong side and failed to let go of the rope. Smack!!! The side of my face met the end of the metal pipe. The cut would have needed 3 stitches but thanks to the able hands of Ellen and Keren (of Lago) who administered first aid. Also quite a number of butterfly tapes plus heavy antibiotics, I did not need any stitching.

The most visible (and most recent) is the one under my right knee. We were on our way to a restaurant and I was so hungry that instead of walking 10 extra meters, I jumped over the fence not knowing there was a metal bar protruding from the ground, hidden beneath the grass.

I have a lot more scars. Not physical scars but emotional scars. From childhood. My first heartbreak. Betrayals. Bulimia. Depression. Harsh words from a supposed 'friend'. And many, many others which I'd rather not mention.

They will always be there to serve as reminders. Maybe even mementos.

The battle scar on my left knee symbolizes courage. Even after a major wipeout, I need to muster up the courage to try again. Otherwise, I will never mount again.

The battle scar behind my thigh epitomizes willpower. Even after an injury (or a heartbreak), I know I have to gather up my determination because life, indeed, goes on.

The battle scars on my face emblematizes the power of time, and forgiving & forgetting. Given time, our skin (especially our hearts), can forgive but never forget.

The battle scar on my right knee symbolizes restraint. That some things can definitely wait.

The emotional battle scars represent life. There will always be ups and downs. It may not always be fair, but it sure is wonderful.

So I will keep wearing short shorts no matter how old I get or no matter how many stares get thrown my way. After all, I earned them and I will forever bear them like medals......................

Sugar-Coated Ecstasy

Finally, after nearly 8 months of hibernation........................

I'm back in action................. Heaven in a nutshell, to me at least......................Heck, even Joel managed to find his piece of heaven as well......................... And lookie, lookie what I found inside their new (to me) brochure............... Closer, closer...............(taken during last years comp, ahem, ahem, shameless self promotion alert haha) Sheer bliss........


P.S. Thank you Allan D for taking these cool pics...............

Thank you Erwin & Marlene, super enjoy ako haha. Marlene, sorry for the misspell, na edit ko na di na mauulit. Hope to see you soon, sa Friday gusto niyo??? haha :-)

Thank you Joseph & Celina R. Up until last week, I was thinking of shutting down my blog. It's people like you who give me the energy and the balls to go on. I can't wait to see you both again (plus your kids) in December................

Finding Happiness Amid Turmoil

One.......

Two.......My blog is 2 months old today!!! Two full months, 66 posts, and many sleepless nights................

To everyone who managed to read even just a single post, THANK YOU......
To everyone who took time out to comment even just once, THANK YOU......

To everybody out there,
THANK YOU,
THANK YOU,
THANK YOU......
you make it all worthwhile :-)

P.S. Sem break has finally started. I'm off to you-know-where to do you-know-what for I don't know how long. I'll be seeing you in a few days.

Have a superlative weekend!!!!!!

Trick or Treat

I love halloween. Maybe even more so than Christmas.

All the garish decor................ The sweets........................All the costumes...................Todays was my pre-schooler's halloween party. Nothing unusual, just your average halloween party. What struck me though was one of the winner's costumes. Among them was Optimus Prime. And yes, he transforms....................This one though caught my attention. Well, not so much the outfit but the message. Did you hear that Mr. Trapo??? As I'm writing this, Erap is having his press conference celebrating his freedom....................... Do you really think we are THAT stupid???
I do not recall picking "TRICK"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If my post yesterday was depressing, this is disturbing.......................kakainis

Depressing Shots

These photos are not mine. Just some of the pics I received through an email from my dear sis...............

The blast happened in Glorietta 2 in Makati last Friday, October 19, around 1:30 P.M.

If you're squeamish, I suggest you do not scroll down any further...................According to this morning's paper, 11 people died and about 120 people were injured. I initially wrote Diabolical Idiosyncrasies because the initial reports were leaning on a terrorist attack. Yesterday, the PNP said it was more likely a gas leak. I really don't know........ There are a couple more pics that I'd rather not post. There was one of a woman who died who wasn't even inside the mall when it happened.

I'm saddened just by looking these photos. If it was a terrorist attack, then shame on you people. I do pray that there are no more casualties (the initial count last Friday was 8). Please do pray for them.............

The Shungak Awards at Ang Mahiwagang WangWang

After a serious backlog, here they are..........

The 'CHILD ENDANGERMENT Award' goes to

This tricycle driver along Katipunan. First off, tricycles are not allowed along that stretch. Second, ano nga ba ulit yung award mo???
The 'CHILD & PARTNER ENDANGERMENT Award' goes to

This motorcycle driver along EDSA, Santolan. I have a clearer shot but I opted to use this one just for you to see how fast he was going. Notice his passenger isn't wearing a helmet, not to mention the poor kid with no protection whatsoever (in case of a smash) sanwiched between them...............
The 'WHATEVERPLANETDIDYOUCOMEFROM Award' goes to

This couple along Alabang. Not only is there a kid in between BUT................Pssst, Mr. Pogi, your helmet can in no way protect you in case you crash since you're not even wearing the damn thing, your baseball cap is!!!
And Honey, THAT AIN'T A HELMET. That's a hard hat.
The 'MATIKAS Award' goes to

This soldier along EDSA Ortigas.How the heck can you protect the country when you can't even protect your wife, girfriend, whoever she is........

The 'WHATEVERITISYOURPROFESSIONANDWHYTHEHECKAREYOUINIT Award' goes to

Not one..................But two policemen along Quezon Avenue.....................How the heck are you going to enforce a very simple law that you cannot even follow.....................

Need I say more????


The 'SHUNGAK AWARD' goes to

ALL THE SUV's WITH MATCHING CONVOYS + PNP ENTOURAGE + WANG WANG

If you traverse the streets of Manila on a regular basis, I'm sure you've encountered them. It usually starts with a motorcycle. They intimidate everyone by bullying every single vehicle in sight to move aside so that his/ her majesty can get through traffic!!! Anak ng tinapay, wala namang hari at reyna sa Pilipinas!!!! Akala ko ba demokarasya tayo????!!!! As if that's not enough, this privilege (???) is sometimes even extended to the spouse, children, grandchildren, syota ng anak, pati ata kabit.................. Heck no, simple SUV's do not appeal to them. It's usually Lincoln Navigators, Cadillac Escalades, Lexus LX (s), GMC Yukons & Suburbans, and the like that strike their fancy. Akala ko ba third world country tayo???

Ano nga ba yung sabi sa kanta ni Christina Aguilera??? la la la 'you must talk so big to make up for smaller things' la la And what the heck is a 'wang wang'??? Well as if the intimidating convoy isn't enough to aggravate you, they need, I repeat, they need this loud siren that goes 'wang wang wang' to announce their prescence.
I'd understand this kind of treatment for the President but..................

One question though, who the heck is footing the bill for all this nonsense, I mean luho???!!! Ahem pork ahem barrel ahem ahem ahem

Nagtatanong lang po.............. Something to chew on, pero apparently manhid na ang panga ko sa kakanguya mwahahaha

Diabolical Idiosyncrasies

Thus in the beginning, the two mental aspects, which are twins
Mutually disclosed themselves in their thoughts, words and deeds,
The one as the better (of the two) and the other (as) the evil
The wise and the intelligent did choose correctly but the ignorant and unwise did not.
-Zarathushtra

I'm convinced that there is good and evil battling inside each of us, each struggling for the upper hand. Though in some, good emerges the victor, and sadly in some, evil emerges the winner.

If you don't believe this theory you're probably either
a. in denial
b. a saint
c. living under a rock
d. a hypocrite
e. an alien

Even in the story of Creation in the Old Testament, it is quite obvious that we are fated to be in the midst of opposing poles between good and evil. Remember the forbidden fruit? You know the rest. Hence, Paradise was lost. Forever.

I was never a religious person. I wish I was though, but I've always been a rebel. I went through a period in my life when I stopped believing in God. Total and complete disbelief. And it was at that low, low point in my that I found him.

Terry Anderson once said, "We come closest to God at our lowest moments. It is easy to hear God when you are stripped of pride and arrogance; when you have nothing to rely on except God. It's pretty painful to get to that point, but when you do, God's there."

Random acts of kindness never fail to amaze and inspire me. Random acts of cruelty evoke feelings of dejection and indignation in me. How can a human being plot against his own kind?

Adam and Eve were banished from Paradise. But there is one thing God left all of us with, FREE WILL. The freedom to make choices without His intervention.

Everyday there is a battle inside each of us.

Everyday we make our own choices.

Everyday we exercise free will.

EVIL may sometimes triumph. GOOD sometimes seems the underdog. But always remember, EVIL will never conquer.

I hope you've chosen your side. I hope you chose well.

P.S. I wrote this article this afternoon with the alleged bombers in the recent 'Glorietta Blast' in mind. Apparently, it turns out to be an 'accident'. Hence I had to edit everything including the title. I'm not trying to sound preachy, intyendes.......... Although I'm really not sold on the whole 'accident' theory. Guess we'll have to wait some more......

Bongganess: My Top 5 Fave Biblical Quotations

I've been meaning to do a 'bongganess' on my favorite books but alas, I cannot narrow it down to 5. I can, however, pick 5 favorite lines from one of my favorite books, The Holy Bible.

Believe it or not, I love reading the holy book, papaano palagi akong nasasapol bwahaha. A tried and tested bestseller, heck even J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series cannot outsell it. Bar none, the Bible is one of the best books ever written, trust me........

Here they are, 'bongganess' quotes from the holy book:

5
Proverbs 3: 5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.

4
Matthew 6: 22-23
Your eye is a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is good, your whole body is filled with light. But when your eye is bad, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is darkness, how deep that darkness is!

3
Matthew 7: 1-2
Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.
Ouch ouch ouch ouch. Guilty ako palagi.

2
Matthew 16: 26
And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but to lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?

1
Matthew 7:12
The Golden Rule
Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.

When I was little, I thought someone just made this up. Only 2 years ago did I found out it was from the holy book. Napaghahalata haha.

Have a sunshiny day (even though it's raining)!!!

Highly Evolved Defense Mechanisms

Sometimes I wonder if there's something infinitely sardonic to preferring animals to people.

I like reptiles of all shapes and sizes. I like snakes. I like turtles. I'm sure you know by now.

Snakes I can identify with because of their solitude and terrorizing facade. Turtles because of their tough looking shell.

I've always loved seclusion. I've always managed to intimidate people I've just met by feigning indifference; by seeming antipatika, maldita, mataray, suplada.

I do not fear death, I said so recently.

Then what is it that would evoke fear in you, she asked.

Heights, I said to myself. But not really, because as soon as I get the chance, I will base jump off Malaysia's KL Tower.

Intimacy and decadence, I retorted.

I'm sure she wanted to ask why but she didn't. Maybe she thought I was being impassive.

Truman Capote once said, "When God hands you a gift, he also hands you a whip; and the whip is intended solely for self-flagellation".

I fear losing anybody I care about. I fear having my heart broken, as it has been many, many times. I fear losing my wit, sometimes even my sanity.

I got teased a lot in grade school because of my weight and my gap teeth. I would cry as soon as I got home. My father told me, "Never let words get to you. Remember, 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me' ". Only then would I be appeased.

Why are tears, especially from a woman, always seen as a sign of weakness? I still cried though, but I did it behind closed doors.

I have a very high tolerance for bodily pain. Even the deepest lacerations cannot make me shed a tear. But the slightest cruelty in expression can make me sob.

These days, I don't cry very often. But when I do, it is out of anger.

That's probably what I love about the written word. I can edit it, I can even delete everything I just wrote. But something that is said, you can never take back.

All venomous snakes are capable of biting without injecting their venom into their victim. This is called a 'dry bite'. They do this to indimidate rather than waste their venom on a body much too large for them to eat.

Even non-venomous constrictors can deliver damaging bites.

In a turtle, the shell is there to make it extremely difficult for predators to inflict damage on their very sensitive interior.

As for me, I'm writing this shrouded in obscure madness. All by myself, but that does not mean I am lonely. I'm going back into my shell now.

Tag, You're It

"How do you see yourself? As a free spirit? Do you recognize the goodness in you that others do? Is there something extraordinary about you that you do not recognize as extraordinary? Is there a chance that your life is more wonderful than the way you currently see it? What does that mean to you?"
John, Chimeric Day Dreams


The other day my fellow blogger Melai, tagged me. In return, I'm supposed to tag 7 other bloggers who have managed to inspire me. A pretty difficult task for a newbie like me as I do not know a lot of bloggers out there. I do read a lot of other blogs but not for purposes of inspiration. I admit to being drawn to 'darkness'. Not for anything else, but seeing 'darkness' makes me appreciate the radiance and magnificence of 'light' even more. Twisted analogy, I know.

I thought I would need a full month to find them. Maybe it was divine inspiration, maybe even fate that I have found 7 bloggers that have managed to inspire me.

Without naming them, I'm supposed to write a sentence or two about them. Here are my messages to the 7 people who have inspired me...................


1. Your warmth is such a blessing, like a cold breeze through the desert in mid afternoon. Your humor and laughter, infectious. You are a true inspiration in every sense of the word.

2. Your honesty to a point of sheer brutality never fails to impress me. Do not let other people intimidate you.

3. Your sincerity and courtesy shine through in your posts. You illuminate the blog world with your wisdom.

4. Your wisdom, depth, and compassion managed to inspire me in more ways than one.

5. Your generosity in sharing your knowledge is Godsend. Keep doing what it is you do.

6. The things you do, I can only dream of. Keep doing what you're doing and inspire more ladies.

7. Your passion for what you do is amazing. It makes me want to do more.


Here's to you Melai, Corrina, Ate Sienna, John, Peter, Elay, and Rino.

You're it. Who's your big 7???


P.S. O hayan Melai, bayad na utang ko haha.........

P.P.S. I do not mind being asked questions. I believe, however, that there is an appropriate time, place, and setting for such. The manner in which it is said counts as well. I get a little feisty especially when aggravated. That explains my corrosiveness yesterday. Or is it lack of sleep? Sinabi naman pati sa inyong hormonal at bugnutin ako.

P.P.P.S. Have a blessed Sunday!!!

Random Questions Answered & Paparazzo Shots: Take 2

I've just noticed that my posts lately have been bordering on either solemn and/or grim and/or serious.

I'm not a serious person.

For one thing, my husband thinks I'm a goofball, my sisters think I'm a lunatic, my brother thinks I'm senseless, my parents think I'm daft, even my own relatives think I'm possessed.

I'm the type who always trips, falls off a bed, and/or trips, slips and falls flat on her back at E.K. To prove that I am indeed the opposite of serious, here are this week's paparazzo shots.......... No, hindi ako nag-iinarte, my eyebags are ginormous as I haven't had deep slumber in the last 2 weeks........Piss off!!!
O see, I'm not at all serious. My parents were right all along.


Questions, questions, questions.............

Here are my answers................

I've been asked many times whether I have background in writing. I've been writing grim tales (as in violent tales, murderous plots, and villainous schemes) in my diary since kindergarten, does that count? I was Literary Editor of my high school paper. I won a Rector's Literary Award in UST during my freshman year for scribing something about Ninoy Aquino. Pretty weird for someone who was then taking Fine Arts. Satisfied??? This is probably because I read a lot, which explains why I have no social life and I only have 2 friends total, which would explain why I have no friendster account. It would be pretty stupid of me to sign up for friendster when I am fully aware that I only have 2 friends. Sedira counts as 1 friend, so that would narrow down my friendster contact to only 1. I do not have multiply either, I have no plans of signing up, so stop inviting me. I do maintain a flickr account, if only to (a) promote my blog, (b) so that I only have to upload my photos once instead of uploading them again and again and again to send to all my relatives, and (c) well, wala lang. I am seriously backlogged in my traffic posts and my very own Shungak Awards. Why? My dear Tito Bennet instilled terror in me. How? By telling me not to use my camera especially at night because I might get into trouble since some fraternity members might just shoot me for aiming a camera at them. So I got to thinking, what the heck, death does not scare me, so I still kept shooting. Now I have dozens of photos to choose from. Among them are pics of policemen and soldiers with traffic violations. Of which you'll see in the next few days as I have something in mind to blog about tomorrow. Apparently, because of Joel's birthday, I've been a little self-restrained. But now that it's been nearly a week, I'm back to my old self. See, who ever said I was serious? mwahahaha

National Thank You Day

Today, October 20, is National Thank You Day.

"Thank You" is my one of my favorite phrases. Two very simple and concise words that express gratitude. To celebrate, here's a short list of people I would like to thank from the bottom of my heart. mwah mwah


Thank you God.......for the countless blessings you have showered me with. You are the Alpha and the Omega

Thank you Joel.......for the loving me the way that you always do and more (see 'Hey Handsome' post). I'm lucky to have found my soulmate

Thank you J & J.......for keeping me grounded. You truly are my little angels

Thank you Mommy.......for being a superlative mom. You are my pillar of strength

Thank you Daddy.......for being a great dad. You are my wellspring of intellect

Thank you Tita Loi.......for always being there when I need you. You always had faith in me even when the world did not

Thank you Nanay Cora.......for always being there for us. You are the best lola evah

Thank you Vince.......for being a true friend. You have shown me what it means to pay it forward

Thank you Roselle.......for always being there for me & my kids. You are such a great 'tita' to my kids and you are my most avid commenter and reader

Thank you Alvin E.......for always being kind and patient with my children. You are such a wonderful 'tito'

Thank you Ate Mel.......for all the kind and flattering words you said. You have shown me what it means to give with joy

Thank you Allan, Mon, Joseph, & Cely.......for always reading my posts and making me gush with all your pleasant messages. You make it worth my while

Thank you Melai.......for being so warm and pleasant to a newbie like me. Your joy and 'kakulitan' is so infectious

Thank you Tip.......for perpetually calling me chuvaness, chakaness, & eclavu. You inspired my blog title


If there's anyone out there I forgot to thank.........Sorry..........but just the same, thank you, thank you, thank you................


Go on now, who do you have to thank?

A Skeleton Out of My Closet

Does anybody know this person?

I do.

This was me in my teens. I used to BE her some 14 years ago, although I don't remember BEING her. I was severely overweight. At 16, I weighed in (at my heaviest) at around 130 lbs. (note that I'm only 5'1"). I decided to finally lose the weight when I was 19. This was when I first met my future husband (even then I knew in an instant he would someday be mine). He wouldn't throw me a glance and I couldn't blame him.

I went on a (near) starvation diet. I ate a single pack of Lucky Me pancit canton and ate half of it in the morning and saved the other half for lunch. For dinner, I'd have nothing but Skyflakes and orange juice.

I lost over 30 lbs. in 6 months but not without a price. I had bruises all over my legs and my arms, my hair was falling off, my nails chipped, my skin was really dry, I was super cranky, and my soul, depleted.

Losing the weight was the easiest part. Keeping it off however, was the most difficult.

At 100 lbs., I should have been satisfied, but I wasn't. Instead I felt a need to eat more. I became a voracious eater. I remember feeling scared because I did not want to gain a single pound of the weight I've already lost.

I developed a habit where I would eat to my heart's content, then a few minutes later I would rush to the toilet, face the water closet, stick my fingers (later on my hand) into my throat and then regurgitate everything I ate.

Yes, I was bulimic.

I recall that in one sitting I could gobble down loads of spaghetti, chicken, chippy, chocolate bars, then later running towards the bathroom. I remember feeling a certain rush whenever I did that. It felt exhilarating at first, it was as if I had control over my life. Then I'd feel tired, exhausted. Then feelings of guilt, shame, depression, sometimes even anger would start to set in.

At my thinnest, I remember tipping the scales at only 82 lbs. My Mom and my siblings called me 'soup bowl', because my collarbone was so pronounced, they said they can pour soup on it. At one point, my mother nearly had to carry me out of bed to bring me to a shrink. Even Prozac wasn't enough to help me.

It went on, unnoticed by some, but known by nearly everyone closest to me including my husband. He knew because there were 'signs' I left (unknowingly) behind. Like the smell of my hands, the stench of acid left in the bathroom, the marks on my hands, and the watery, bloodshot eyes.

I used to own 2 weighing scales to constantly monitor my weight. I would weigh myself 3 or more times a day. As if that wasn't enough, I even took diuretics and diet pills.

It went on even during my pregnancies. In order to leave something for my unborn child, I would eat what I call 'markers'. I called certain foods 'markers' because I would vomit until the moment I see them just to provide a little nourishment for my baby.

I felt guilty especially when my second child came out really frail. I felt like I was such a terrible mother and I did not deserve them. I felt shame, disgust, guilt, sadness all at once. But that wasn't enough to stop it.

In 2004 (I was already 27), I was still on my usual routine of bingeing and purging. One day, while I was vomiting, I felt as though my small intestine was being swallowed whole by my stomach. For a moment, I felt my heart stop and I was unable to breathe.

From that moment on, I went cold turkey.

I do not recall ever fearing death. Even at this moment I do not think I am afraid of it. If there's one thing I love about mortality, it's that we have one great equalizer.

It was the thought of my children (then aged 5 & 2) becoming orphans at such a young age that scared the hell out me.

And then destiny. We usually go to Punta Baluarte in Calatagan during the weekends. That weekend, however, they were closed due to management changes (I think). We eneded up going to the resort nearby, Lago. That was when I discovered wakeboarding. Wakeboarding gave me a rush, the kind that didn't make me feel guilty afterwards. It served as an outlet that helped me discharge all the hostility and aggression that I used to aim towards myself.

Of course a very good shrink (my dear friend Vince), and a very stable support base (my husband) were also crucial.

After 8 years of misery, I was finally liberated. It's been 3 years that I have been freed of my tormentor.

Why am I telling you this? I know 2 people very close to my heart, suffering from it. They never said anything, they don't have to. I even tried talking to them (separately, of course) about it. Apparently, both are in denial. The signs cannot be missed.

So if a single soul gets touched by this message. Then I did my part.

I hope you do yours.


P.S. Currently, I do not own a weighing scale. I am bulimic no longer. Last I weighed , I was 94 lbs. Whether I'm heavier or lighter than I once was, I don't f***in' care. It really doesn't matter. And I've never been happier...............

An Ode to Snow White

(Melai, in lieu of the article I promised, I hope this will do for the meantime. Para sa ating mga kababaihan ang post na ito............)

As far back as I can remember, I've always considered myself an eccentric. As a kid (until now), my favorite tales were Foolish Frances, and The Snow Queen. I never (and I mean NEVER) enjoyed reading fairy tales like Snow White, Cinderella, or Sleeping Beauty.

Why in the world were they considered heroines in the first place? What was it they had that made them stand out? Which quality was it that made them superior to their next door neighbor or even their stepsisters?

Maybe I envied them. Maybe not.

Yes, they were kind, no doubt about that. But not 'saintly'.

Maybe they were smart. But not 'ingenious'.

What made them such 'trophies' worthy enough for Prince Charming to risk his neck for? (I don't even know why he's such a catch himself when all I know about him is that he's filthy stinkin' rich and always on a white horse, but that's another topic................)

I'm sure you know why. They were all stunningly gorgeous.

Fairy tales like Snow White made me even more insecure than I already was. I used to curse the cute girls in grade school. Just because they were so darn white, they caught all they boys' attention. Even in high school where only the va-va-voom sexy ones got dates to the prom. I would imprecate them because they had what I did not.

We are at an age where physical beauty is such a commodity. It's so commercialized. I, for one, used to think that the only people who claimed to have 'inner beauty' were the ones who lacked it's physical component. I used to think that the only way to get a man to notice you was if you had flawless white skin, a 36-24-36 frame, and a face to rival any beauty queen.

I look at modern day philanthropists like (the late) Princess Diana, Queen Rania, or even Angelina Jolie. If they weren't as stunning as they are, would they still be as hounded as they are by the media? Would they still be exemplified as modern day heroines?

What about women like Marie Curie and Mother Teresa. Or Filipinas like Gabriela Silang and Teodora Alonzo. Or Margaret Thatcher, Indira Gandhi, Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf, and Corazon Aquino. To me, they are the epitome of beauty.

Maybe it's called midlife or probably a certain level of maturity to be able to see past the external. There's some beauty we see, some we even hear, but the most resplendent, we feel inside.

Physical beauty is so f***in' overrated.

So here's to us plain janes . Sheer, unadulterated, non-airbrushed (or photoshoped) beauties. Myself, Melai, Ate Sienna, Mommy, Tita Loi, Ate Mel, Tany, Telly, Celina, and all Pinays out there.............. Let us bask in splendiferous glory and our beautiful Kayumanggi skin. Mabuhay!!!


P.S. Melai, I've only been blogging for a little over 6 weeks pa lang. Pinasakit mo ang ulo ko. I honestly don't know any other bloggers except for you and Ate Sienna. I still owe you an article though :-) saka isaw at yema...... haha

My Happiness Index

If there was an award for 'Most Moody', I'd be an indisputable and undefeatable champion.

When it comes to happiness, I'd probably also get an award for 'Most Shallow'. My criteria being as deep as a mud puddle. To give you an example, here's a preview of my happiness index; 1 being the lowest and 10, well, a state of euphoria.

receiving heartfelt messages from friends: 8.5
getting 10 hours of (straight) sleep: 8 (I haven't had this in a while though)
giving birth to my eldest: 10
giving birth to my youngest: 10
doing absolutely nothing: 7.5
first kiss with Joel: 10
watching Sedira: 9
my wedding day: 10
seeing 'chakaness' on google: 8
eating 3 Krispy Kreme doughnuts: 8
buying my first luxury item with my hard-earned moolah: 7
getting a colorful greeting card from my son/s: 8.5
seeing comments on my comment page: 8
an 'i love you' out of nowhere from Joel: 9.5
an 'i love you' out of nowhere from my son/s: 10
wakeboarding: 1,434,452.54 (malapit na ko mabuang, 2 weeks na lang haha)

O see, I'm the 'Most Shallow', where's my award???


P.S. I may be moody but I'm not 'pikon'. I value opinion. Everyone is entitled to one (see my last month's Malou Fernandez article). The reason why I got upset over the comment (see story below) was because (to me) it did not sound like an opinion, more like a judgemental pre-conceived notion. The remark was not meant to humor anyone but merely a show of something he does not/ will not and/or won't ever understand. I don't mind comments like 'Yuck', 'I hate snakes', I'm scared of snakes', those remarks I can call opinions. But to use words like 'filthy' and 'disgusting' to portray them, and to state his opinion (with hearsay and not hard proof to back it up) and make it sound as if it were factual, THAT detonated the bomb within...........

P.P.S. Or probably I'm just a little emotional these days when it comes to Sedira as she'll be leaving me in the next few months. I've realized that she has entered an age of sexual maturity and for her to complete her cycle of living, I would have to give her up to someone who truly understands and appreciates her. The thought alone puts me in a state of melancholy. And when that day comes, I'm sure my heart would break into pieces.............

P.P.P.S. I meant every word I've said and I take nothing back.

P.P.P.P.S. Melai, salamat ng marami sa lahat lahat ng komento mo. Touched naman ako. Biglang pumanaw kaninang umaga ang gigil ko kay Mr. Ignoramus. Tama na, sobrang flattered na ako baka maging kare-kare at lechon bigla yung isaw at yema na utang ko sa 'yo haha...........

Dante N, bakit mo naman inindyan ang waswit ko??? Pero sige na nga, dahil sa mga sinabi mo (sa asawa ko) tungkol sa blog ko, friends na tayo. Salamat sa sinabi mong malikhaing bata ako, dahil yan sa gatas na iniinom ko nung beybi pa ako. Simula pagsilang, gatas ng ina agad ang nilalaklak ko, hanggang 9 na ako, may baon pa rin akong 'bote' sa iskul haha.............

Allan D, utang na loob, tigilan mo na ang pagtawag sa akin ng 'Madam' at 'Donya', unang una wala akong datung, pangalawa, hindi ako mashuba. O baka mashuba na nga ako, di lang masabi ng asawa ko??? Na conscious tuloy ako.........

Conservation 101 for Dumdums

Joel's birthday is finally over. I've been raving for the most part of the week. Now I'm free to rant all I want. Matapos ang isang linggo ng pagtitimpi, handa na akong magpakawala ng galit. Umaalab at naglalagablab na galit.

In my quest to share my blog all across the world wide web, I join different blog communities. In one of the communities I posted a thread titled, 'Do snakes interest you?' That simple. To my surprise I receive a few comments such as...........

'I'm scared of snakes.... '

'I hate snakes.'

These comments I can take, I understand that not all people share my passion for serpents. The next one, however, managed to strike my nerves. Note that I did not edit anything out except for the name. These were his exact words:

'I'm with YOU, ----! Sheesh, I had a flickr widget on my blog with a Nature Group Pool and one day, after a year, I asked them, politely casually, not to include snakes in the Pool. Those amateur snappers went Bonkers. So nasty. I was so 'crushed' it took me an Entire 42 seconds to dump the bums and put up a Classy Group! They lost a TON of traffic --every day my readers clicked on those photos to look at their pics. Serves 'em right!
And most people don't know: snakes have salmonela on their gross skin. Easy to get sick touching those filthy things, but who would want to, you'd hafta look at 'em. YUCK. Totally Diz-gusting. (Geez, why did I read this...now I'm going to have a nightmare, sheesh.)'

To the dimwit who posted this on that particular site, first off, you misspelled salmonella. hahaha.

Second, HOW DARE YOU CALL THEM GROSS, FILTHY, AND DISGUSTING! Did you know that snakes play a very significant role in many ecosystems around the world. Saang planeta ka ba nakatira??? Snakes benefit humans by controlling rodent populations (hallur, ever heard of the bubonic plague??? tingin ko hindi, mwahaha). Even snake venom has been used to treat various diseases such as cancer, heart disease, and hemophilia.

Third, yes, I have heard that reptiles do carry some strains of salmonella. But so do amphibians, mammals, that includes us humans (o baka naman alien ka???). Even common house pets like dogs and cats. Chickens can even carry up to 2,000+ species of salmonella. Sources of salmonella include contaminated meat, improperly cooked meat, undercooked eggs, animal feces, even raw milk or certain fertilizers and animal feeds. It is probably associated with them because they do come into contact with their feces dahil hallur, hindi sila nakakalakad katulad mo. They can move in 4 different ways; rectilinear movement, serpentine movement, concertina movement, and sidewinding, notice walang 'walking' dahil wala naman silang legs (o baka hindi mo rin alam yon???). Correct me if I'm wrong [calling all herpetologists (as in scientists who study reptiles and amphibians, hindi sila manggagamot ng herpes baka kasi yun ang akala mo) please help me out here............], I once heard that there is a solution to getting salmonella from reptiles, hand washing and alcohol!! I hold (even kiss) Sedira a lot, but one thing I always do is to wash my hands afterwards. It's so easy to wash one's hands: water + soap + common sense lang yan, unless of course you lack the latter (turuan din kita maghugas ng kamay gusto mo???). You have more chances of getting the bacteria from improper food handling than you would from a reptile, intyendes?!!!

Fourth, ever heard of CONSERVATION????? Why the heck do you think Steve Irwin wrestled all those crocodiles??? Did you actually think he had nothing better to do??? Did you know that some 200 species of snakes are considered threatened or endangered? The biggest threat being habitat loss resulting from human activities like logging that causes deforestation. They are hunted for their beautiful skin which we humans turn into bags, belts, wallets, etc. In some countries, they are killed for their meat which is considered a delicacy. Others hunt them for their blood which is valued for its alleged pharmaceutical effect of warming the blood of the drinker. In fact, WE ARE A THREAT TO THEM AND NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. And FYI, snakes do not bite humans and are harmless unless provoked.

So unless you start taking an interest in their survival, snakes may find themselves banished from our planet. Unless you start caring, baka sa books o sa pictures mo nalang sila makita.

There a lot of things I still do not know about them. In fact, I only started reading about salmonella in reptiles when I heard Mr. Ignoramus Stupidus Maximus (ginawan pa kita ng scientific name.......bonggacious da va). There a lot of species I would love to learn more about, read about, and if I'm lucky, to hold and handle. But alas, I can only drool in envy as I watch reruns of the late Steve Irwin handle the most venomous species. Whenever I go to zoos, I head straight for the serpentarium as they never fail to mesmerize me. In case you didn't notice (my username alone screams snakes, black_mamba, duh), I LOVE SNAKES MORE THAN ANY OTHER ANIMAL ON THE PLANET!

So to the a**h*** who said that, next time you feel like saying anything bad about them, think again. Or better yet, start watching more Nat Geo or Animal Planet instead of watching Paris Hilton's porn videos. Or read more books instead of all those Playboy and Hustler magazines.


P.S. I will post pics of me & Sedira kissing, but later na as it is only 5 in the morning, I haven't brushed my teeth, baka mahimatay siya hahaha..............

Wild Food Orgy

It's Joel's (and Allan D.'s) birthday so you know what that means...............

I broke my 'I don't cook!' covenant this year. Yes indeed, I cooked. (Of course not by myself. I had a lot of help, pre-party, from Mommy Nita and bro-in-law, Bobby S, and post-party, from the other birthday celebrant, Allan).

My specialty, Tausi Chicken Feet to rival Henlin's and Le Ching's (just give me a holler and I'll give you the recipe)
Joel's Tokwa't Baboy Mommy Nita's Menudo Fried LechonLumpiang Shanghai
Inihaw na Tilapia (grilled to perfection by Bobby S., thank you thank you)
Inihaw na Liempo Joel's Barbecue
Joel's Crabs ??????? Pansit Palabok courtesy of Hector, Au, & Malou (thank you)
Pansit Malabon courtesy of Allan D. (the drinks as well) Yum yum Cherry Cheesecakes by Bobby S.
Early birds, lovely couple Erwin & MarleneBarangay TagayGrabbing a bite.........
High school buddies The ladies......... Aileen, Anna, Vicky, & moi................ Moi, Aileen, Malou, Gerry, Aunora, Hector, Sol, Anna, & Vicky