Dreamweaving

I've been beating my brains out trying to come up with my wildest dream. I was tagged for a meme by Leena (Thank you dear :) . I so love and appreciate memes. Over the past month, I've been fortunate enough to have worked on the simplest to the most backbreaking of tags. Most of which have been very, very personal.

It's been nearly 2 weeks and I haven't anything in mind. Pretty idiotic for a self-proclaimed Pinay Dreamer, don't you think?

Don't get me wrong I have countless and immeasurable dreams. From pipe dreams, to vivid phantasms, to hallucinatory visions.

When I was little girl, I dreamt of being a princess. In reality, I am not of noble origin and I have not an iota of royal blood running through my veins.

I once longed to be immortal. Then again, I realized that life, after a certain point reaches a level of saturation. Where everything is damned repetition. That in mind, why the hell would I wish to live forever?

I desperately wish to find a cure for Cancer and AIDS. Alas, I'm no medical genius. I am but an ignorant fool.

I have visions of bringing up my children to be the best they can be (whatever that means). But I am only a mere instrument. I can only stand back in awe as I watch them grow every single day. In the words of my (then) 4-year old son when asked by an aunt whether he looked like his Mama or Daddy, 'Neither, I look like myself because I am me'.

I have graphic hallucinations of standing on top of the world. But just the thought of it leaves me feeling nauseated. And besides, reaching the zenith can only mean one day plummeting down the nadir.

Last Novemeber 2, a 12-year old girl hanged herself. She claims to have lost hope, from misery and poverty. Just a few days ago, a young boy (about 12 or 13) hanged himself after being scolded by his parents in front of their neighbors. I won't even name them in deference to the parents and siblings.

Truman Capote once said, 'The true reason why many people commit suicide is because they are cowards who prefer to murder themselves than murder their tormentor'.

As much I adore and idolize Mr. Capote, I think this one does not apply to children. No no no.

In place of publishing my widest dream, I bespeak great hope.

In memory of the 2 angels who took their own lives due to different circumstances, I will end this meme.

Simply because in a world such as this, in a place and setting such as now, dreams can sometimes prove futile. Dreams have a tremendous weakness, they can always be shattered. In the absence of that dream, I offer a prayer for their souls. And with that prayer, a plea for a world to share the same idealistic hope.